someone promo me ill pay u in cum
wait i meant gum
no i didnt
(via pizzapaloozah)
yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger
(via pizzapaloozah)
whats a good excuse to get out of soccer practice i need to know asap
excellent answers, thank u friends
(via pizzapaloozah)
why would you ever even need that much broccoli
(Source: doobiesandboobiezz, via katmccartney)
what a bunch of lil shits
blossom you dont even have a fucking nose
(Source: femburton, via katmccartney)
There are thousands of half-babies in my ballsack and that’s terrifying
at least you don’t bleed them out every month
you make a compelling argument
(Source: runningfromfaggots, via dessydewwho)
u know what would be cool. if you could wear whatever you wanted whenever you wanted without having to feel bad or weird or shamed about it. show up to work in plated armor. show up to a staff meeting in full cosplay. wear a dress to play tackle football. wear a bikini at the dinner table. dress in scuba gear for your wedding ceremony.
did you mean sims
(via katmccartney)
have you ever taken a selfie then at first you think wow i’m hot then like a minute later you look carefully at everything on your face and you realize you’re the ugliest person to ever inhabit the planet
(via dessydewwho)
dont let anyone bother you about the color of your hair
(via dessydewwho)
never introduce your friends to one another because they end up liking each other more than they ever liked you
(Source: kaylacat, via katmccartney)
